A Brand New Day

I know it's been a while since I first proclaimed I was going to get cracking on this weight loss thing. I actually stuck very strictly to a candida diet for almost a week. It's really hard to stick to such a strict diet, especially when I spend half my week out of town.

I need to make some adjustments to my initial proclamation. The goal is to lose weight. Adjustments to eating habits to follow. Or rather I should say these things go hand in hand.

I've been struggling with depression for a good portion of my life. And this past year has been no exception. I hit a really dark place only a few months ago and now I'm slowly starting to emerge from it. My moods go through cycles. I have my ups and then I have lower lows. So every day is a struggle in its own. But this time I don't want to be beaten. This time I want to accomplish what I set out to do. Even if it's a slow struggle, as long as I'm making progress along the way instead of sabotaging myself, it's a success.

Things in my life have been starting to look up for me again, and maybe that's why I'm remotivated, but I feel like I have a new outlook on things, however small amidst the darkness. I'm hoping if I keep working that light it'll eventually grow bigger until I'll finally be able to contain and control my depression.

So, today was the first step toward positivity.

I'd slept in again, but I figure I'll adjust my sleeping habits with time. I did sneak a brownie in with my breakfast, but I buckled down and made myself some light sugar oatmeal. I'm starting to get hungry again so I'm seeing what I can throw together instead of opting for drive through.

Last night I reconnected with a couple friends and we started conceptualizing some projects together that started making me feel more hopeful about life. I tend to have a problem with getting good ideas and not following through on them, but I'm trying to make more positive changes in my life. I just need to keep pushing myself, even if it's uncomfortable at first. I may have given up on a few dreams, but I might be paving the way for new ones and that's good enough for me.

Here's a list of positives:
-I'm getting my job at the bakery back
-I've reapplied for community college and I applied for FAFSA and I plan to take some skill enhancing classes in the fall (Digital Art, Web Design, Japanese 2, and possibly more if I can fit them into my schedule)
-Planning projects with friends and pursuing a few independent ones
-Recognizing that losing weight is within my power, I just need to make more of an effort

I also have to credit my friends as my inspiration: Thank you Shana, Courtney, Nathan, and Jenna!